Alice – In search of Wonderland

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

ex boyfriends’ girlfriend

Filed under: life,love — Alice @ 10:05 pm
Tags: , , , ,

As I am now severely addicted to the hateful facebook since I keep checking Curly’s status all the time (he’s discretely matching me, half replying to my status updates) I stumble upon, Elf’s, my first boyfriend’s page. He’s on a friends-list of one of our old mutual friends (or not so mutual as it turned out), and although I cannot see his profile I can, for some reason look at his photo albums as long as he’s tagged the mutual friend of ours…

My inner voyeur takes over and I click around, watching glimpses of his life and after a while I make the conclusion that one girl might be his girlfriend. She’s definitely pretty and she looks a little bit like I did when we were dating. Long brown hair, very natural look, cute, petite, smaller boobs that I have but her stomach is toned. And not toned as in “she probably works out” but just as in instead of smooth you can hint that she has some muscles under there. And. It. Drives. Me. Nuts. To the point that I put my shoes on and ran to the gym. “Why?” you wonder? Because as much as I know that I fall in love with people not because of their looks but because they’re fantastic human beings, I can’t seem to apply this on myself. In my head all guys are constantly comparing me to every girl they ever dated or just had a crush on…

 

Saturday, April 19, 2008

magic beans

Filed under: body,life — Alice @ 1:11 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

“Maybe she’s right, that Skinny, Maybe not eating is actually the way to go…” I think to myself as I’m once again poking my belly fat. Now, I remind you all that in reality I’m against not eating. In reality. But since I’m anonymous here I might as well share even my weirdest thoughts. And if it hadn’t been for that farewell-party of one of my colleagues that I had to go to, I would have probably made it that one day without eating anything after lunch. So yesterday, since I had no plans, I thought  I was just gonna stay home and not eat. And we all know what happens then. All you can think about is food. And I can’t help but wondering why I always end up sabotaging myself when I’ve decided to either eat less, or eat less unhealthy food. Yesterday for example, I ended up eating popcorn and drinking beer. Sure, popcorn is the less evil thing to treat yourself too if you’re trying to lose weight, and the beer was a “lite beer”, but still… sabotage!

And then I stumble upon a blogg written by a cancer patient, crazysezycancer, about fasting and cleansing your body, and I thought, hey, I might do that! I should be able to handle one day of fasting, right? And maybe I could get Skinny to join me too.


Recently, I’ve seriously been considering
liposuction. I assure you, I know I’m not fat, but it’s just that belly fat that doesn’t go away no matter what I do! And I think it would really help my selfimage if I could just finally get rid of it and for the first time ever have a flat stomach. But then I’m kinda scared of the risks (there’s always a risk of going bye-bye when put under anaestesia) and the recovery period. I can’t really take a week off of work because I’m having aesthetic surgery, now can I? Anyways, I stumbled upon something new called lipodissolve. Basically you inject yourself with extract of soybean which dissolves the fat in your body. No anaestesia or anything. The process apparently takes 8 weeks and you might need to do it repeatedly to get the results you need, but when you’re satisfied the results are permanent. Doesn’t it sound smashing?


soybean

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