Alice – In search of Wonderland

Sunday, June 22, 2008

dykes everywhere!

Filed under: chicks,gay,lesbian,life,party,tokyo — Alice @ 12:22 pm
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Back in my hometown I drag my best friend to the gayest club in town. We start of with a glass of wine each and end up spending more time sitting at a table with a bunch of very young dykes than on the dance floor. One of them is a bit cooler than the others. An etchnic chic with a piercing through her lip. She’s flirty but she keeps dissapearing. When she reappears for the umpteenth time she sits her jeaned but down next to me and, drunk as we both are we kind of fall in to a hug. I smile and tell her I’ve missed her and she kisses me on the side of my still smiling mouth. Which leads to a make-out-session. Mmm… soft lips.

If she hadn’t been living with her parents I’d follow her home (since I’m here visiting mine as well). Unfortunately we’re not in a Tokyo full of love hotels. The fact that she’s only 18 doesn’t really bother me, but I feel the need to tease her about it anyways. “Has anyone ever told you you’re insanely cute?” she asks, and no, no one has ever used that phrasing actually… And then we part ways in the night. Best friend was probably a little bit surprised, but she’s the only one I’ve told that I actually slept with a girl when I was in Tokyo… She handled herself splendidly anyways. Gotta love her.

It was a fun night, but the memory of those kisses doesn’t really reverb like the one electic kiss I shared with Curly. Not that I’m really in to him, but kissing a girl is mostly very… “…so?” Feels completely natural and not as electric, if you know what I mean… Or maybe it was just this girl.


Monday, June 16, 2008

just like friends!

Filed under: life,tokyo — Alice @ 6:09 pm

I restrain myself and refrain from making first contact when I see that Curly’s online on facebook. I just want to steel more kisses to keep the chills going. They’re already fading away a little…


And I’m talking to Rumble on msn. About his work. I haven’t talked to him in the longest time. It’s going really well actually. Talking like friends. Asking what he’s been up to and what not…

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I try not to think about Tokyo

Filed under: life,love,tokyo — Alice @ 11:59 am

We talked briefly about what we did back home.  We talked about who we were.  Neither of that mattered here.  After this bus ride we’d never see each other again, but that was the beauty of this trip.  Nothing really mattered.

When the neon lights and awkwardly compact buildings started coming into view I began to feel a sense of achievement.  I felt a sense of pride.  I felt a sense fear.  I felt a sense of love.  It felt like home.  This was Tokyo, Japan.

This post made my heart cramp up a bit. God, I miss it so much! Tokyo really is home. Any other city fades in comparison. Nowhere on earth can I find freedom and peace of mind like I do in Tokyo. And I die a little every day I’m away. The only thing saving me is that 8 months from now I’ll be free to live there as long as I please.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

and then I rememberer – I love you

Filed under: life,love,tokyo — Alice @ 9:50 pm
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I go out with a bunch of japanese friends and I realize that this sadness, these “mini-depressions” that I have, never occured when I was in Tokyo. Although, once in a while I’d get paralyzed by an overwhelming joy, just the joy of being alive and breathing in that amazing city, but that too would pass in a few minutes.

I’m not sure what it is about Tokyo that makes me thrive and feel that I’m alive in a more tangiable sense, just like I’m not sure why this city seems to kill my spirit a little each day. (Nah, that’s a lie. It’s a damn boring city, that’s why!) But I am sure that a place that makes me paralyzed with happiness every once in a while, is a place worth returning to. 

It freaking breaks my heart that it has to take so long, though. Another eight months before I can go back, at least. Eight months. I wonder if I’ll have a spirit left to revive after spending such a long time in a dull place.

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