Alice – In search of Wonderland

Sunday, June 15, 2008

the secret code of handsqueezing

Filed under: life,party,sleep — Alice @ 4:43 am
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It’s five in the morning. I ended up going out with two people from work, one of which I don’t usually hang out with. After a couple of gin & tonics we were joined by yet another guy they work with whom I’ve met a couple of times before, a tall and blond guy with curly hair and a bit of an australian accent, and his friend, who had a nerdy/cute look going on.

So we find a club and go dancing, dancing, dancing, and it feels so good! Letting out all my frustration on the dance floor kind of. At one point me and Curly ar walking through the crowd and ah he’s leading the way he offers me his hands and which is not an uncommon thing to do when you don’t want to get separated, but he squeezes my hands so tight*. For some reason I squeeze his back as if my life’s depending on us getting back on the dance floor together. And there’s something about squeezing people’s hands in crowded clubs. There must be something psychological there, because you build up some sort of… I don’t really know… energy maybe?

Anyways, later on, when I find him alone in the crowd and we’re looking for our friends he gently strokes my back, almost as if by accident. And that’s the fucking universal sign (in a club) that someone really wants to make out with you! So I crane my neck to see if I can see any of our friends, and when I can’t I lean in to him and shout in his ear: “Curly, do you want a kiss?” And after an initial minor shock and a “wha?” he looks down on a spot beside me and says “Yes, please.” His curly hair is like a curtain, but I do give him a very, very sweet kiss. Kind of innocent but juicy at the same time, and it just tastes… so good! He says something about one not being enough but by then I can spot one of the others and I just give him a laugh and walk over to her as she seems to be looking for us. And that’t it.

That’s all I need to redeem my confidence. We spend the rest of the night dancing with our friends and generally having a blast, but without any more kisses or indications of the one we already shared.

 

*and let me tell you, just as I’m writing “…squeezes my hands so tight” I get a facebook message from Curly. He wants to know my number and thanks me for a lovely evening “…and that one kiss was nice”. I give it to him before I go to sleep.

I am so back in the game.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

where’d it go?

Filed under: life,sleep — Alice @ 9:14 pm
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Turtle was here, and somehow the week-end flew by. And all I’ve been doing is eating and sleeping. And tomorrow it’s back to work. 

Monday, April 7, 2008

which one should i play?

Filed under: life,music,sex,sleep — Alice @ 11:38 pm
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Earlier this evening, as I got back to my “other home”, this time bringing my guitarr back with me from my mothers place, I was faced with a difficult choice. Should I play the guitar and finish the song I’ve been writing for the past couple of days or should I surf the net for porn and play with myself? 

Usually when I’m in porn-surfing mode I get completely lost out in the World Wide Web and will be gawking at porn for hours (or at least one hour) while touching myself, and I will eventually have an involuntary orgasm (cause I usually want to keep going for ever), leaving me a bit unsatisfied and unable to fall asleep. (Unless I do it mid-day. Then will immediately fall asleep, and waste the good part of the day in bed.)

Well, dear readers, as it turns out I didn’t have to choose. Apparently I can play the guitar instead of sleeping, which works out quite well, now that I’m all satisfied and unable to sleep. And the song is turning out better than I expected (I expected crap), so go ahead and feel free to congratulate me on an overwhelmingly productive evening.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

the smell of safe

Filed under: life,love,Paris,sleep,travel — Alice @ 12:02 am
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I spent way too many nights with Turtle. It’s so easy to just fall back in to old patterns. Mostly we just slept in the same bed, for days in a row. I’m pretty sure he gives off an undetectable smell that enables me to sleep for ages. Like 15-16 hours a day. And the ever so comforting sensation of skin against skin. It’s just a really good feeling.

I accidentally invite him to go with me to Paris this weekend. At first I was planning on travelling alone, but then I thought it might be nice to have a travelling companion, and he agreed in a heartbeat. Neither of us has ever been to Paris so we’ll probably spend the time getting lost together and eating croissants. Possibly hitting eachother over the head with baguettes if we get on each others nerves, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. 

We’ve been “broken up” for eight months, but when we’re together it’s like we’re pretend-lovers. We haven’t managed to get out of coupledom, with the one exception of expectaitons. We have none. It’s like a real relationship without the pressure. And without the I love you‘s. It’s actually quite perfect since we both get to be totally selfish and still enjoy eachothers company. One migth say that breaking up was probably the best thing that ever happened to our relationship… 

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