Alice – In search of Wonderland

Sunday, June 8, 2008

sex & expectations

Filed under: life,sex — Alice @ 5:31 pm
Tags: , , ,

For one week messages have been sent back and forth between me and Ted. Initially I’d wanted to hang out with him for a bit and then have him come over and fuck me. And as the week’s progressed I’m sure that he has a very clear image of that. Not the hanging out part, but the fucking. He pretty much expects it, which is probably exactly what I would have done if I was him, and I realize I’ve painted myself into a corner here.

Yes, I do (think) I want to sleep with Ted, but I most definitely would like to just hang out with him first. Cause when you get right to it, it takes some trust to sleep with someone. And now I’m kind of sorry I made it so obvious that it’s basically a good bang that I’m after, cause that will probably take away a lot of the excitement of not knowing what’s gonna happen.

I want to go out, sit down and seriously have some tapas, feel the excitement building and then take him home with me. I don’t want to miss out on the awkwardness of trying to make conversation with someone you actually just want to have throw you over the shoulder, take you home and bang you sensless. 

Maybe most of all I’m afraid I’ll feel used. I don’t randomly pick out guys to sleep with. As a matter of fact, Ted is the first guy I’ve been attracted to in more than six months. And I don’t mind that he’s leaving and that I’ll probably only have him once, but I would mind if I met him and he went about it in a “let’s get down to buisness” kind of way. Maybe I shouldn’t overthink this since there’s a good chance we won’t have time to meet at all.

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